there's a selkie wi' wings 'at jist passed th' bar. ah hink its time tae gang haem.

3:58 AM - 5 Jul 16

Ah was threatened by a fiery sword by a fiery hen. third time thes year. Ah main be daein' somethin' reit.

4:02 AM - 5 Jul 16

Watch it fur 'at boobrie. she'll knick ye guid.

4:07 AM - 5 Jul 16

Thaur ur reports comin' in abit american mythical creatures threatenin' men in th' northern highlands. if ye hae onie pertinent information, please contact local authorities.

4:12 AM - 5 Jul 16

Th' imp's dug bite me. Ah demain retribution. ur anither swally.

4:38 AM - 5 Jul 16

Wife: hoo was yer nicht?
[flashback tae a hen wi' a sword chasin' me wi' a dug oan 'er heels afair Ah tripped]
Me: normal

8:50 AM - 5 Jul 16